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Learning how to overcome narcissistic abuse is no easy task. Especially when being a victim of narcissistic abuse isn’t something most people think will ever happen to them. However, this emotionally (and possibly physically) traumatic experience can keep us in a state of debilitation if we let it.
As a thriver myself, I feel it’s my honor to share with other victims how they can overcome the effects this trauma has on them. Every person deserves to live a happy, safe, and abundant life. Especially you!
Here’s how you go from victim to survivor to thriver.
Phase 1 – How to Overcome Narcissistic Abuse: Victim to Survivor
Step 1 – Own Your Story
To overcome being a victim of narcissistic abuse the first step is to own your story by telling it. Tell it exactly how you remember it happening to you. You take back your power by owning your truth. So tell your story of what happened. You don’t have to go public and tell the whole world on social media what happened to you (unless you really want to).
Just find someone you feel safe sharing your story with.
- Doesn’t question that it happened to you.
- Won’t judge.
- You can confide in.
- Understands what you went through.
- Someone who can add humor to a situation doesn’t hurt either.
This can be a friend or a coach who has experienced a similar situation. Just make it someone you feel connected and safe with sharing your story.
Step 2 – Move Out of Your Story
It’s great to share your story because it’s your truth, it happened to you and you have every right to feel what you felt from it. The key in this step is to not get stuck here.
This can be an area where a lot of us victims can get stuck.
We get so engulfed in the “some serious shit happened to me and I’m traumatized” we let it debilitate our life. This is when depression, anxiety, and many other symptoms of trauma can seep into our being. It can be tough to get out of but believe and know it can be done.
You are NOT what happened to you!
Step 3 – Find a Therapist or Life Coach
Find someone you feel safe with, feel seen and feel heard. Someone who can walk you step-by-step through each phase in the right order and at your comfortable pace. Because everyone moves through trauma at a different pace. Find someone who you feel can truly help you.
It’s important to find someone who understands the journey, who’s walked it themselves and can show you the way.
We cannot find healing in isolation.
Check out what you can expect if you want to work with me.
Phase 2 – How to Overcome Narcissistic Abuse: Survivor to Thriver
Step 1 – Declutter, Feel, and Celebrate
Declutter both physically and mentally. We tend to hold on to objects and things that really do not serve us. These things just cause more clutter and in turn more stress. So to declutter physically go room by room, car to purse and get rid of all the clutter that is taking up your life.
My girl Tracy sells an amazing decluttering book where she shows you how to declutter in just a few minutes a day so you don’t get overwhelmed. To get your copy just click on the button below.
You’ll want to do the same thing emotionally. Go through things you are mentally holding on to. You know what these are. Judgments, grudges, hateful feelings towards someone. Go through and make a list of everyone and everything you need to forgive.
Sign up now to get the Forgiveness Bootcamp free. This bootcamp will help you forgive so you can clear those mental blocks from your life.
Oh, those pesky emotions we have!! Yes, I know it can be overwhelming to feel intense feelings of pain that come from the trauma you’ve experienced, but it’s important you do this. When we are able to feel our emotions, that’s when we’re able to start the healing. “The only way not to keep feeling pain is to FEEL pain.”
I get that it seems totally counter-intuitive to run towards exactly what we’ve spent most our lives running from, but if we keep running, it’ll keep chasing us. Eventually, these feelings do catch up. So face them. Listen to them. Learn from them. Move through them.
I can’t tell you how important it is to get used to celebrating your wins. Even small ones. I used to think the small things weren’t worth celebrating.
That was until I started my own healing journey.
I realized how celebrating, even the littlest things aided in my own self-confidence and building self-love. When I would have a breakthrough to why I behaved badly in almost every triggering instance, I celebrated. It wasn’t just about awareness, it was proof that I can do this. I can overcome all the shit I had been through. If I can do it, you can too.
Step 2 – Heal and Find Purpose
Heal Emotional Trauma
There are several aspects to healing and several modalities used to heal a person. Healing emotional trauma can be a difficult task but not if you have someone to lead you through the journey.
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A lot of people don't even realize how emotional trauma is affecting them. ⠀ .⠀ Several symptoms of unhealed emotional trauma are:⠀ .⠀ Anxiety⠀ Depression⠀ Shame⠀ Anger⠀ Perfectionism⠀ Inability to achieve goals⠀ And so many more...⠀ .⠀ There's nothing wrong with you, you're body is doing exactly what it needed to do to survive. But now it's time to take action to get unstuck!⠀ .⠀ To heal trauma, we must first understand it and get to the root cause of it.⠀ .⠀ Only then can we do the work to heal.⠀ .⠀ If that little voice is telling you "I'm done with being stuck, I'm ready for a change!" then click on the link in my bio @obtainingbliss. You've only got one life to live and it's time to start living it free from the past.⠀ .⠀ You can do it!!
I was told that I’d have to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life after being diagnosed with chronic (clinical) depression. Even though I knew deep down that this wasn’t true, having a professional tell you something like that can be devastating.
It wasn’t until the last few years when I was on my last round of depression medication when my instinct was screaming louder than anything.
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE ON MEDICATION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!
After much research, therapy, and life coaching, I found exactly how to heal myself so I would never have to be on antidepression medication ever again.
Medication just masks the symptoms of what your body is trying to tell you. Don’t get me wrong – I’m NOT saying you should stop taking medication and heal on your own. That’s not what I did and you should only get off medication through the help of your doctor.
I weaned off my medication slowly and had the systems in place to back myself up to make sure I wouldn’t lapse and need the medication again.
Medication saves lives and I’m not saying people shouldn’t take it. What I’m trying to bring awareness to in the mental health realm is that medication is masking something bigger and we need to dig deeper into why you have those symptoms. And when we do that, we heal.
Find purpose in what happened to you. We can find purpose in our traumas. We’re all exactly where we’re supposed to be at exactly the right time. You are here for a reason. Finding purpose from the bad shit you’ve been through is another way we can let it go.
Step 3 – Enjoy the Life You’re Meant to Live
You do this by letting go of the limiting beliefs you’ve developed throughout your life. You were brought into this beautiful existence to enjoy life. We are meant to live a life you love.
You deserve to have a crap ton of money (if that’s what you want) so you can not only live a comfortable life but also help others live their dream life.
We deserve to feel beautiful in our own skin.
You deserve to find a safe and loving partnership full of respectful communication, laughter, fun and mind-blowing sex.
Whatever you want out of life – you can have it.
When we heal from our emotional trauma, we open up so many possibilities, opportunities, and allow abundance to flow into our life.
Living life on your own terms and in your own bliss is exactly when you fulfill the purpose you were put on this planet to do.
Your Next Steps
If you’re ready to dig deep and break through the blocks narcissistic abuse has caused in your life, there are a few ways I can help you even more…
- Sign up to do the 5 Day Bliss Challenge
- Join the Obtaining Bliss Private Facebook Group (for women only – sorry guys)
- Get more information on how to work with me 1:1
- Share this post with others via your favorite social media link (just click one of the hovering icons)
- Check out some of our other blog posts on Mental Health, Personal Growth, and Domestic Violence.