After an abusive 1st marriage I was extremely worried about getting into another “bad” relationship: retraumatizing myself and my kids. Right after the separation from my ex-abuser I was on PTSD medication and antidepressants. I studied, researched, tested, failed and succeeded at so many different ways of coping (medication, alcohol, food, exercise, & talk therapy).
I thought coping was just how it was going to be for the rest of my life.
Then I got into a healthy relationship with my best friend (and now husband). I started to find how triggered I was at so many things in our relationship and found whenever we’d get into a fight it was literally the end of the world for me and I was ready to run from the relationship (to keep myself safe).
I noticed there were situations in our relationship where I felt like it was the same abusive shit I dealt with from my ex. But it wasn’t abuse – it was my body (subconscious) reacting to a current argument from a past trauma. My body and emotions were reacting in a trauma response kind of way to a completely normal argument.
Looking at the situations from a logical standpoint, one could see that my poor husband was trying to be there for me but didn’t know how to work with me when I had those triggers (aka post-traumatic responses).
I was like a traumatized war vet reacting to fireworks.
I started looking into trauma and how it affected us emotionally, physically, psychologically and energetically. And the BEST thing I found through my studies, research and work is you CAN heal yourself. So I did just that. I dug really deep. I did the serious hard work and I healed myself.
Because I knew if I didn’t I would end up alone, divorced, hopping from one relationship to the next and traumatizing my kids all along the way.
And now I teach others how to heal themselves. Because I’m living proof that when you do the work you don’t have to sabotage a loving healthy relationship. You don’t have to settle for another toxic, abusive relationship. And you can teach your kids these healing skills so they don’t end up hurting others, become abusers, or end up in toxic relationships like you did. My kids were my ultimate motivation because I didn’t want them to grow up as mentally and emotionally unhealthy individuals.
I help women and mothers who have suffered through toxic relationships and domestic violence who are struggling with the uncertainty of entering a new relationship, fearing they might not recognize “the signs” early enough and land themselves right back in another unhealthy environment. Or they finally find themselves loved by a good person only to drive them away with trauma-based actions and overreactions, ultimately cascading into a distrust for men, an acceptance of toxicity as the norm, a feeling that there is no escape, and a fear for their child(ren)’s emotional well-being.
I support you in finding genuine love in a healthy relationship with a trust-worthy partner who makes you feel safe. Safe enough to stay, to express yourself, to speak up, and safe enough to bring your children, family, and friends in.
By providing you with a safe space to work through your trauma you’re able to:
- process your emotions
- identify the root of why you are attracting toxic relationships
- figure out why you allow these kinds of situations in your life
- build emotional resiliency
- strengthen healthy relationships
- and so much more!
Doing the trauma work, you’re able to finally open up, heal, become emotionally resilient, set and communicate boundaries and needs, and tune into your gut that knows “the signs” before those boundaries are broken. So you will never end up in another toxic relationship again and never allow your kids to become the abusers or the victims in relationships either. Instead, you magnetize the healthy, loving, safe relationship you and your kids deserve.
Because there can be so many aspects to finding your true bliss, I’ve laid out this website to help you easily find what you need. The menus in the top bar each have drop downs with different categories. Those categories each have relevant posts that will help you find exactly what you may need. You can also use the search bar to look for something specific. You can just enter a keyword and it will bring up all relevant posts.
If you are looking for more personalized help with your personal growth, check out 1-on-1 coaching with me. Or check out the shop.
No matter what you may be struggling with, know there is hope. You do have the power to change your life. You do have the power to make your life and the lives of your children better. And I look forward to helping you find your own bliss!
Your biggest cheerleader,